A Toast to the Romantic

The Romantic Grocery and Gift Emporium stood on a pedestal of steps, four feet above the ground, in the heart of Pyla, a tiny fishing village on the coast of Cyprus. The Emporium would have had a breathtaking view of the endless Mediterranean under a cloudless, moonlit sky, were it not for a clump of hotels, a curious combination of modern concrete and incorrigibly lovely hedgerowed and manicured mansions, built across the road and divorcing it from the sea.

Hotels like the Golden Bay, Sandy Beach and Lordos gave the Romantic its reason for being, providing it with a congregation of thousands during the peak summer season. But this village landmark was more than a purveyor of goodies and knick-knacks. White plastic garden chairs and wooden benches adorned its entrance and side. Husbands and wives and grandparents guzzled cans of beer or bit into ice cream bars on a stick as children encircled them, still in bikinis and swimsuits in the sultry evening air, whooping, playing ball or patting balloons into the sky. It was the cheapest form of entertainment for families on a budget vacation.

Outside the Romantic, the air hummed with lively conversation, but I could understand none of it. Could it be Russian? Bulgarian, perhaps? Every once in a while, I thought I detected German as well. Inside the Romantic, it seemed that someone had switched channels. Now, the same animated voices spoke to me in Greek, the language of gossip between the store owners and their assistants.

I remember noticing the same flip of the switch when as a boy in Africa, led by the hand to our mosque. At its entrance, African street vendors spoke Swahili, while inside, I listened to Arabic chants and prayers. As my father bowed and diligently kissed the floor, my thoughts focused on goodies I would ask for from the vendors outside—palm hearts of coconut, roasted peanuts and exotic gulabis, balls of thin fruit smelling of rosewater.

Tonight, at the Romantic, it was strawberry parfait washed down with Coca-Cola amid a congregation animated by the same delicious and intoxicating mix of joy and satisfaction.

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Written by Emil Rem

An eccentric accountant becomes a writer of eccentric characters, in exotic locales, with each chapter taking us on a trip into the fascinating twisted world of Emil Rem. Born to a close knit middle class Muslim East Indian family in Dar-es-Salam in the 50’s, he is then moved to Maidenhead England at the age of five. The next twenty years are spent shuttling between England and East Africa, wearing a St. Christopher’s cross one minute and attending church, to wearing a green arm band and attending Muslim religious classes in Africa next minute. Moving to Canada, marrying a woman from the Philippines and having two boys only adds further texture to his stories.

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A Toast to the Romantic